


Scene From a Diner

by aquarian_sunchild



Category: Hamlet - All Media Types, Hamlet - Shakespeare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 04:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8149579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquarian_sunchild/pseuds/aquarian_sunchild
Summary: I wrote this back in the midst of my revived love of Shakespeare and just remembered it exists. It's a modern vision of the characters from Hamlet, in which Ophelia is still starry-eyed and naive, Hamlet is still an angsty and manipulative brat, and Horatio is still somehow caught in the center of it all. Enjoy.
This is set in the small-but-affluent town of Allswell, where Hamlet's dad has earned the title "The Danish King" thanks to the ever-growing value of his family's snack cake corporation.





	

“Hey Hamlet.”

“Hey…you.” He knew exactly who it was, but worthwhile entertainment was a rare commodity. One had to act on whatever opportunity arose.

Ophelia blinked, but her smile never faltered. “Oh. Well, you have been at Wittenberg U for a while. I’m Ophelia. We hung out in high school. My mom was your pediatrician and my dad golfs with your dad…er, well, golfed.”

Horatio shot Hamlet a glance of warning from across the booth. Fun time was over. Well, fine. “Of course I remember the prom queen, Ophelia. So, you’re waitressing now?”  


Ophelia smiled. “This is my weekend job. During the week I’m at the gardening emporium across from the mall. Not everyone can just waltz into college on daddy’s dime, y’know? I, uh…no offense. Anyway, you should come visit sometime. I can get you a discount at that new bookstore downtown.”

An enticing offer, but the allure was dulled by the prospect of spending more time with the starry-eyed prom queen. Hamlet shrugged. “I’ll consider it. Since we’re sharing suggestions, may I share one of mine? It’s about the dessert options here. They seem kind of…lacking.”

“Suggest away! Whatever idea you have about dessert food would be brilliant. I mean, if your dad was the Danish king, you’d be the Danish prince, right?” Ophelia giggled at her own joke. Hamlet groaned inwardly, but carried on.

“I was wondering if you’ve ever heard of Spotted Dick? It’s a British thing, sort of like a sponge cake with raisins in it. Good stuff.”

Ophelia wrinkled her nose. “Spotted Dick? And it’s something you like?”

Thus arrived the moment Hamlet had been waiting for. “Oh yes, I love dick. Absolutely adore it. Just ask Horatio.” The man he had indicated flashed him a leave-me-out-of-this glare.

Ophelia rolled back and forth on her sneakers, processing the newly acquired information. “Well, it’s a weird name, but I’ll bring it up with the head cook. I’ll let her know it was your idea.” Ophelia finally, finally settled their pie slices in front of them and made her way back to the kitchen, a light skip in her step as if just speaking to Hamlet sent a shock of revitalization through her body.

Horatio was most certainly not impressed. “Really, why do you have to be like that to her?”

“If Ophelia was any more dense, she’d sink in shallow water. Easy source of amusement.” Hamlet dug into his pie, thankful that it hadn’t gone cold yet. “Besides, I wasn’t completely lying. You have firsthand experience with my affinity for dick.”

“Yeah, but…” Horatio tried to ignore the foot creeping into his pant leg under the table. “Look, it’s obvious she worships the ground you walk on. Why can’t you just be honest with her?”

A dark cloud fell over Hamlet’s face. “She just seems so, like, delicate. You can tell she has this ideal concept of the world and how it should be. If anything shattered that worldview, I think it’d shatter her. I guess the thought of that happening is too frightening.”

Horatio wasn’t sure he was understanding what he heard. “So you’re hurting her this way, to avoid really hurting her in another way?”

Hamlet thought for a moment then let out a small chuckle. “I guess that’s it. But when you say it like that it makes me sound like an ass.”

Horatio shrugged. He was the straightforward, no-bullshit one in the relationship. Hamlet, it seemed, was always trying to make things more complicated than they needed to be. It was bound to backfire on him someday.

Horatio couldn’t help but wonder how he’d get caught up in the resulting chaos.


End file.
